The newspaper staff here isn't half as smart as the Oxy Weekly staff

Why, you ask? Because I didn't get a copy editor position.

To be fair, there were only two positions for the four of us trying out (all girls) and all of the others were actual York students instead of just studying abroad here. So I understand why they didn't pick me (I guess). We had to give a speech on why we would be good for the job, and public speaking isn't my strongest suit. I get nervous and rush through it and kind of stare at one place in the audience the whole time.

At the end of our speeches (being first, I had the least time to think, so the other girls were much more eloquent), we had to go outside while they voted. It was awful and nervewracking, and when we came back in, the editor announced it: "Congratulations, Harriet and Ellen!"

I sat back down, disheartened AND embarrassed, barely holding back tears. All I wanted to do was leave, walk back to my room and cry. Luckily, the meeting lasted only about 10 minutes longer. As I was getting up, a girl sitting in the row behind me asked, "Are you still interested in doing some proofreading?"

Since I didn't think grabbing her by the shoulders and saying, "Oh my god, YES!" would go over well, I just said, "Yes, yes, I would!" She explained to me that she was the features section editor and that the copyeditors usually just did the news section. She asked for my e-mail so that she could have me come in and read over it. Giddy with gratefulness, I copied it down. I was even more excited about editing features anyway, since I find it far more interesting (especially in England, where everything is so different).

Feeling a little better, I was fighting my way through the crowd to get to the door when I heard someone call out "KHE-lay!" (That's how they pronounce my name here.) :) I turned and this really nice boy named Jamie (who had talked to me at the last meeting when I had just come to introduce myself to the staff) said to me, "You're still going to come in to proofread, right? We need as many readers as we can get! I really hope you do."

Incredibley flattered, I assured him I would. (Again, I didn't think it would be kosher to say, "Considering I am bored out of my mind and need all the friends I can get, why would I say no? Unless I were a masochist. And I'm not.") He told me how to get to the office—"and then there's a fir tree out in front," he finished, as if I had any idea what a fir tree looked like. Oh, their adorable Englishness. :)

In the end, though, I think it was more their loss than mine by not giving me a position. This way, I don't have to stay until 4 a.m. on Monday morning every three weeks if I don't want to, and I can go on weekend trips without feeling like I'm letting anyone down. I can come in at my whim and still go to newspaper socials. They, however, will have to live with the fact that they didn't hire me the first time they see how good I am.

It's weird that I say that. As most of you know, I am a very, very self-conscious person and not confident at all, when it comes right down to it. I break into a cold sweat walking into a party. I worry about each of the essays I turn in. I have yet to woo a boy. But there is one thing I am sure of in this life: I kick ass at spelling and grammar and no newspaper staff is going to convince me otherwise.